The Art of Juggling: Managing Pathological Demand Avoidance Through Multiple To-Do Lists

In a world ever hungry for our attention, "demands" can instigate a unique form of anxiety for individuals with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Briefly put, PDA is a complex autism profile that makes even simple tasks feel overwhelming.

The Triple-List Method: A Lifesaver

Navigating life with PDA is akin to juggling; it's a balancing act. A lifesaver in this challenging arena has been my triple-list method. With three lists of equal importance, each tied to my larger life goals, I find respite and autonomy that's otherwise absent. More on this shortly, but first, let's delve deeper into the peculiarities of PDA.

The War Within: Understanding Internal Tug-of-Wars

Though the lists help manage the external facets of PDA, the internal struggle remains. A ceaseless tug-of-war exists between a rational part that understands the necessity of tasks and an opposing force that resists them vehemently. Suppressing this resistance is possible but exhausting, narrowing mental bandwidth and potentially leading to less judicious choices.

The Anatomy of the Lists: Aligning Tasks with Goals

The lists aren't random; they are carefully aligned with my broader goals. For instance, one could be about expanding my business, Imaginal Coaching; another could focus on my writing commitments, while the third might involve community service. Very often, each of these buckets have multiple projects underway at any one time, so it is likely that I have three lists on the go for each bucket – to the eternal joy of my novelty loving ADHD! Such alignment is crucial because it allows for a seamless transition between different kinds of tasks without losing sight of the bigger picture.

This methodology would crumble without clarity in my goals. My aspirations in various aspects of life serve as the compass that keeps me on track. When this clarity exists, the 'next right step' is not an abstract concept but a clear path waiting to be explored.

The Positive Power of Proactive Avoidance

Ironically, living with PDA has led to a form of proactive avoidance. This strategy of completing tasks before they become 'demands' has proven to be a game-changer. It not only keeps the internal chaos at bay but also helps me achieve more, a win-win by any measure.

The triple-list method isn't a one-size-fits-all solution, but it offers a practical workaround for the complications PDA introduces. Having choices through multiple lists outweighs the complexities of juggling life's demands and brings a sense of empowerment.

How can you use this strategy in your business or place of employment? What do you need to understand more of to feel confident in asking for support in this area?